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.Stand Up. by Tyshea .Stand Up. by Tyshea
Today is April 23, and my 23rd birthday.
I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for this year, 23 has always been a number that stuck out to me.
And this song, “23” by Jimmy Eat World, continues to be one of those songs I turn to when I feel lost.

Today is my birthday, and I want to come clean about a lot of things.

I drew this picture as a follow up to this one, if you guys remember:


“Fall Down” was drawn during a really hard time for me— when my parents found out about Bee and threatened to throw me out and disown me. It ended up not happening due to a lie I told through my teeth… but a part of me broke that day.
I drew it because I felt like my sky had fallen.
I was raised with a pretty old-school mindset, to honor thy parents and such, and in many ways I felt mentally inferior and subjugated to them.
Their rejection was something I always feared in the back of my mind (especially when it came to my sexuality and gender expression), but to feel unwanted by these miniature gods of my household was still a shock to me.
Though maybe it was less of a shock than it was the crashing of a disaster I prayed would not come.

I know this is a really depressing story to post on my birthday, but I drew this new piece as a way to mark my growth and my healing.
A part of me may have died that day, but Bee has always called me a phoenix.

I came to terms with my parents’ love. Understanding that it wasn’t 100% like people lead you to believe.. I had to divorce myself from their love and make my own, and that love came from deep within myself.

23 is a song about picking yourself up, a time to change.

And if I could go back in time to talk to my younger self, that scared, hurt, and broken me, I would tell her it’d be okay someday.
That healing is possible.

It's amazing what 3 years can do.

Happy birthday, Naf.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsassyraptor:
SassyRaptor Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2013  Student Filmographer
So intense and powerful! What words! ;_; I really love those silhouettes, as well, with those lightning-like patterns.
Reply
:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Ahh, thank you :')
Yeah, the lightning was kind of to connect it to the previous piece <3
Reply
:iconsassyraptor:
SassyRaptor Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2013  Student Filmographer
You are most welcome! ^.^

Ahh, I see! o:
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:iconnerdponders:
NerdPonders Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013
I am so proud of you. That may sound weird considering i don't know you in real life but i can't help it ^^ I wish you and Bee all of the best and the most amazing future!
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:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
It's not weird at all, that means a lot to me :blushes:
thank you!
Reply
:iconcorgi-dawg:
Corgi-Dawg Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013
Oh my...
This is such a strong piece that actually made me cry :(

But, Knowing that a wound will heal anyway, It made me feel happy in the end :)
Rejection has been a fear of mine, but when I told my friends about me being Bi, they all thought it was awesome having a semi gay friend XD Also my sister and mother has accepted me nonetheless :)

... lol sorry for Rambling, anywaaaay, This is still a very emotional piece, Very brave for posting it on your birthday too! :)
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:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Naw, no problems on rambling, I'm really happy that it made you happy in the end :')
And I'm really glad that your mom and sister accept you now

Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconcorgi-dawg:
Corgi-Dawg Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013
Thank you miss :)
I am glad too, Hopefully you're okay with your parents too :)

Most welcome miss!
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:icon2otaku:
2otaku Featured By Owner May 12, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
LOL... I am really late to the party too....
Be strong, it gets better. It really does.
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:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Haha, no worries at all. I hardly ever mind "late" comments :)
Thank you so much! I honestly think things have already gotten better at this point <3
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:icontheflamingzebra:
TheFlamingZebra Featured By Owner May 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
LATE TO THE PARTY AS USUAL

this is really beautiful and so powerful and emotional and I absolutely adore the tone it takes in comparison to the previous picture. You've come so far and I'm so so happy that you've been able to heal. You are such an incredible person and I just skfsk can't tell you how much a piece like this speaks to me. *hugs*
Reply
:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner May 6, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE THE HERO
(also I don't care about when you comment omg because your comments are always fantastic)

Thank you so much though dear! Means a lot to me :')
Reply
:iconshinobigami:
Shinobigami Featured By Owner May 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, despite the simplicity, this is really beautiful <3

I'm sorry to hear what had happened, rejection for who you are is one of the worst kinds, especially by your own parents. i'd give you and your younger self 10000000000000000 hugs if i could and i tell you that things will always get better in one way or the other ;A; <3

but anyway, it warms my heart to know this piece is a symbol of your healing and growth, it's really powerful and you're only getting stronger

i also really hope you and Bee's love lasts a lifetime, you guys seem to complete eachother ;v; <3
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:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner May 6, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
HAHA, 10000000000000 hugs would be fantastic :D

Thank you so much dude, I know it seems silly, but that means a lot to me.
I guess it's nice sharing happiness with people.

I hope so too, thanks again! ;//u//;
Reply
:iconshinobigami:
Shinobigami Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
yes, yes they would :iconmonkeyloveplz:

you're so very welcome, and guhhhhhh that makes me soso happy to hear ;v;
it most definitely is >W<

heeee, you're so very welcome ;//u//;
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:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner May 8, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
:hug:
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:iconshinobigami:
Shinobigami Featured By Owner May 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:icontearyeyeplz:U:icontearyeyeplz: <3
Reply
:iconkukucrazy4rioku:
kukucrazy4rioku Featured By Owner May 3, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I think I can understand what you went through. My parents are conservative, but I love them and I want to let my parents know who I am, as in the REAL me. But I'm scared to see how they will react.

I'm very relieved and glad to see that there is someone that was able to heal and become a stronger person, if that reaction is not a positive one.
Reply
:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner May 3, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Yeah, I think it's important to talk about these things.
Not a lot of lgbtq stories are about rebuilding from the ground up; really happy that you could relate.

I wish you all the luck in the world, and here's to hoping things go well.
If not, I know you'll be able to push through it :heart:
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:iconangelfreddy:
AngelFreddy Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013
We stand up to try again. Even when we fall down, we stand up. For if we gave up on ourselves, no one else will be willing to help. We fall at times, but we stand back up and try again.+
Reply
:iconmegarezfan:
MegaRezfan Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
;-; Personally, I think you've gave me a bit more strength just now, thank you for this ^^
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:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Wow, that's more than anything I could ask for...thank you! :blushes:
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:icondizzytestament:
DizzyTestament Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013
Amazing. My sister had a similar predicament when she came out, so I can understand. I'm glad you were able to evolve from it.

Happy (Belated) Birthday!
I'm glad you found joy and strength. :dygel:
Reply
:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you so much! :blushes:

Also it might not mean much from a strange online, but I wish your sister the best of luck
And you as well :)
Reply
:icondizzytestament:
DizzyTestament Featured By Owner May 3, 2013
Thanks for the well wishes. My sister definitely has support and the parents are getting better, it's just taking some time and readjusting.
Reply
:icontaurusj:
TaurusJ Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013
First of all: Happy belated birthday. Sorry for not replying sooner because I caught a glimpse on this one in the corner of my eyes but my final exam had to take priority. With this out of the way...

I know this is a really depressing story to post on my birthday, but I drew this new piece as a way to mark my growth and my healing.

Frankly, stories that contain healing and growth and never truly depressing. Both are something that give birth and sustain hope. And nothing undermines and destroys depression as true hope.

On a slightly related side note: One of my favourite German proverbs is "Jeder ist seines eigenes Glückes Schmied" which translated is "Everyone is the blacksmith of his own happiness", mainly because it encompasses so much in these few words. First, happiness only truly grows internly. You have to build it yourself and no one can give it to you. Second, creating happiness is fucking hard. Blacksmith is a job in heated and harsh environment, it's hard and demanding work and it's oh so easy to screw up. You have to hit the iron while it's hot and you have to make every hit count. Miss once and everything is ruined.

Sounds bleak but thinking about it, blacksmith is the most hopeful job. Yes, you might break it but every screw up can be molten down and resetted until you get it right. It may take a while but, you know, you progress with every try. Your skills grow and eventually, you manage to create your very own happiness (also there's the whole mending motif that I won't get into right now because I'm already getting quite wordy here)

and seeing this: I had to divorce myself from their love and make my own, and that love came from deep within myself. I think you're quite the blacksmith (or phoenix... whatever, you're awesome ;D)

In any case, the imagery in this is so, so strong. Themes of healing and mending are my favourite kind. Lotsa love, Nafi, lotsa love.
Reply
:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Jake...thank you man, seriously.

I myself don't find the story very depressing for those same reasons (but you never know if people are sensitive)
And thank you for that little bit of culture. I'll probably remember it for the rest of my life. I've always quite liked blacksmiths haha :D

It's been a pleasure having you here for the ride, here's to many more years!
Reply
:iconriolord:
riolord Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2013
this fills me with so much hope, I've had the same situation happen to me. Except i was still a minor at the time and very much dependent on my family. It hurts to have to choose from people who have taken care of you your whole life and those who are more like family than your blood relations. I lost My Best Friend and my love after my "family" forced us apart, and I had never felt more alone. But i've found some marvelous human beings who I care very deeply for with every fiber of my being. And I swear I'll NEVER let them go.
Reply
:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I was really hoping it would have that reaction from some people.
Stay strong my friend, you have the support of many more people than you might realize.
All the best, and thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconfunsmilies:
FunSmilies Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013
Wah...
This is a little late, but Happy Birthday =D
Reply
:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you! :)
Reply
:iconfunsmilies:
FunSmilies Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013
Your Welcome =D
Reply
:iconvai-russ:
vai-russ Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013
-snuggles- Happy belated birthday Naf, you phoenix you.
Reply
:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Haha, thank you so much! X)
Reply
:iconwraythskitzifrenik:
WraythSkitzifrenik Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Very cool!
Reply
:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:iconnarutodeviant2007:
narutodeviant2007 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2013
Good for you Ty, sometimes it's hard dealing with being accepted for who you are. And it's only harder being accepted by your family. I've never experienced that myself, but I gotta give you a lot of respect for face that with your head held high. I still love the work you and Ai do. I wish you two the best.
-Chris a.k.a narutodeviant2007-
Reply
:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Ah, definitely very hard to, but thank you so much, Chris!
It's been a pleasure having you along for the journey, here's to many more years!
Reply
:iconnarutodeviant2007:
narutodeviant2007 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2013
I'll drink to that!! OH-HO!
Reply
:iconinukitkat:
InuKitKat Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2013
sweets, you and your girl are major players in my shaping view of female same sex couples. having never met you i can still tell that you are beautiful, your girl is beautiful, and your relationship is beautiful. Keep your head up and keep standing! m-kay? :)
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:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Will do, captain! Thank you so much! :)
Reply
:iconhandxpalm:
HandxPalm Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2013  Student General Artist
You are the same age as me O.O happy birthday!
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:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
whoa, am i? :D
That's awesome, thank you!
Reply
:iconriderroni:
RiderRoni Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2013  Student General Artist
Ohmygosh, thank-you so much for this. It's so personal. So beautiful. Keep standing <3
Reply
:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Haha, I will :D
Thank you too!
Reply
:iconriderroni:
RiderRoni Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2013  Student General Artist
:huggle:
Reply
:iconxreicheru-chanx:
xReicheru-chanx Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2013  Student General Artist
Your story makes me want to give you a hug. Here, I reach my arms out towards you in a gesture of affection.
Reply
:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
haha, thank you so much! :hug:
Reply
:iconwolfie157:
wolfie157 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2013
You have a beautiful story, and I love watching it continue to unfold in your art. Hope you had a happy birthday (or are still having a happy one, I prefer to celebrate my whole birthmonth, haha).
Reply
:icontyshea:
Tyshea Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Haha, Bee makes sure I'm spoiled through the whole week :XD:
Thank you so much though! It's been a pleasure, as I'm sure it'll continue to be <3
Reply
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